Two worlds.........

.
A talent-laden banker burdened heavy with his gold,
A proto-talent seeker, jobless, desperate and cold.
.

Cuts.......

.
Cuts, cuts, cuts, cuts, cuts,cuts.......
No but, but, but, but, buts......
.

Monkey Puzzle - the 'brain drain'

.
Talk the fear, walk the fear, the brain drain's here?
For ev'ry brain drained another brain reigns.
.

Summer

.
Summertime and the living are queasy,
Warm beer, hot dogs, burnt backs, A & Easy.
.

The 97 million men....

.
Our boys in white with their pails of golden loot,
England expects a playday to match and a cup to boot!
.

The Knowledge Blob:

The combined annual salaries of the 23-man England squad - £97million - is more than twice the combined salaries of all 650 MPs, including ministers!
Which probably explains why we won't win the World Cup (where's the hunger?) and why we get the MPs we deserve!

All about me.....

.
The end is nigh,
I heard you sigh.
.

With a little help from your friends........

.
Hari Hari quite contrari, kari not my friends?
Cappy happy chappy, goal is down the other end.
.

Lawfulsome's awfulsome claim.............

.
That silly arse Laws, a law to himself,
hubristically trousered some tax-payers' wealth.
.

Brushing the teeth........

.
Brushing my teeth twice a day: perfect in ev'ry way!
Keeps me fit, full of wit and the chain won't decay.
.

The Dear Leader.......

.
No,no! Not Calamity Kim the ever-dim;
Cameroony Dave, leader to the ConDemned grave.
.

The Queen speaks........

.
I come before you at this time, ration book in hand,
to open up proceedings for this coagulating band.
.

Georgie-Porgie cutting the pie.....

.
Georgie-Porgie wants an orgy cutting the pie,
fingers crossed are amputated, makes the quangos cry.
.

Merkel's message

.
Angela farts and the the numpty traders sell
And buy again at a gain, the rest of us in hell!
.

England expects.....

.
Alpine dreams of the world's richest team;
England our England, a quarter-peak dream.
.

Quid pro good...........

.
The people didn't want it, the Bureaupolits did.
Now Eurobullies weep; aren't you glad we kept the quid?
.

Unfair entrances.......

.
Cambridge kids are counted bright, coming from the left or right,
Oxford oinks are measured dim, PPE, they sink or swim.
(PPE = Piss Poor Entrants)
.

Parliament-go-round

.
The gabble-gaggle gobble-gobbles assemble yet again,
Turks and chicks, Davy's doggies, Cleggy's cogs and Harmy's hens.
.

Barely Airborne........

.
Wee Willie Walsh, in a fight with Unite,
Will work in a cabin. Tea and a bite?
.

Tries as he may, man's ruined the play....

.
In the boudoir Triesman blurts of secret machinations,
A Spanish fly, a Russian bare - aids to lubrication!
.

A Cable stitch (up)

.
Is a Cable a stitch in time or a stitch too far?
Perhaps he's not Con Vinced by Osborne's jaw-jaw jar.
.

The Power Plot Men

.
Hello Dave, hello Nick, the power plot men,
How does your garden grow? Ah! All things nice then.
.

The Aintree moment

.
All shades of politicians? - "Neigh" - the national interest
Is best and what we have in common (And sod the rest)!
.

Virtual reality

.
Volte face, Cleggy feinted to the left; Davey got a fright,
Gave 'em cabinet PR to get to number 10. Good night!
.

Flights of fancy

.
BA on strike while Gordy looks to fly;
Davy's looking sick as Cleggy airs his 'why'.
.

Euro septic

.
The traders are happy, the markets rebound,
The Euros been saved, unhappy the pound
(Geezer Bob's made a bob).
.

Enough is enough

.
Au Devoir,
Au Revoir.
.

The people have spoken (well, some of them)

.
The people (bless), head in noose, hung us out to dry;
Now for a LibDem Labour pact to make us cry.
.

May 6th

.
The race is run, the spieling done, the show of tricks;
The winner's not known but Aunt May came 6th.
.

Six days in May. 5

.
Davey's Locker, Gordy's Chest, Cleggy's Case;
Sinking wet, empty yet, packed and ready - just in case.
.

Six days in May.4.

.
Decisions, decisions, paper pledges greeted with derision;
Mini Gov, Bigger Soc; Fair for all; 700 in your sock.
.

Labour's labour lost

.
"To think we needed him", Blaired Gordy Drowns,
Mandy's bad enough, perma-Tone's a clown!
.

Six days in May. 3. Voting tactics

.
The Cons are coming and our Davy's plea?
Please don't let them hang from a LibDem tree.
.

Six days in May. 2

.
The Blair Witch project's now arrived
To save our Gordy from the slide.
.

Six days in May 1.1

.
Gordy, Gordy digging deeper,
Will he reaper what he sower?
.

Six days in May. 1

.
Tony and Sherry are back on the stump.
Labour's in trouble, Brown's got the hump!
.

Straitened talking debate.......

.
20% off the National Health, 20% off the gravy train.
Waiting lists to ruin your health, still the rich will feel no pain.
.

Sharing a word..........in Rochdale

.
Gordy made a booboo he cringingly admits,
Gilly took it badly so he twittered like a tweat!
.

Britain's Got Talent

.
Britain's got talent; we'd better believe
Taxing the bankers is so ill-conceived.
(Said Bob, a diamond geezer)
.

A Fairer Society

.
How many trees has the Rich List lost?
How many lives has recession cost?
.

Rich man lend me a pound or two.......

.
Rich man lend me a pound or two, that I may act the same as you
For just an hour, let me devour the joys that sometimes make you blue
(Hardened arteries brightest hue).
.

Colours

.
Is Gordy in the brown stuff and Davy's polish blue,
As sunny days add buff to Cleggy's golden hue?
.

And he wasn't even there

.
He wasn't even on the show yet Steven won,
Even Stevens was the call, Davy was undone.
.

It's debatable

.
Davy's trotting, Cleggy's got his trident out,
Gordy's got the Navy, let's listen to them spout.
.

Unclear Deterrent - manifestly clear!

.
Neptune's weapon, waivering debate,
Abhorent deterrent, waved too late.
.

Up in the air

.
Once more unto the breach the dreaded ashes roar,
Carbon footprints down, train and ferry profits soar.
(apologies to Bill)
.

Not the Derby

.
A three-horse race the people shouted,
Gord and Dave fading fast, Nicked and routed!
.

All the .......Ations

.
Tory terrification, Labour buddification,
Cleggy's in the lead, now for verification!
.

The Gods Thems Elves (Norse)

.
Unable to pay off their debts in cash,
They called on Loki to settle in ash.
.

Witch way?

.
Bubble, bubble, magma ash and rubble,
Cleggy won, Dave and Gord both in trouble.
.

Labouring the point

.
Love's labours lost to the bankers' purse
Cry? Brown cried 'sorry' he made it worse.
.

Lib Dems Manifesto

.
Let's put the Lib Dems' "fairness" to the test.
Give 'em a vote and sod the rest!
(With apologies to UKIP)
.

Solitude

.
Is a couplet sharing or talking to oneself?
This solitary blogg is heading for the shelf!
.

Tory, tory..........

.
Tory,Tory quite contrary, how do your policies grow?
By suck of thumb held wet to wind to see how it will blow!
.

May 6th

.
The 6th of May's a public holiday,
Let's off to France and leave the rest to chance!
.

Fishin' for fushion?

.
Barrack agrees with Dimi's conclusion,
Let's end the fission with unclear delusion.
.

Golf spoils a good walk

.
A good walk spoiled when balls are lost in bits of rough,
A hole in one, the golfer's dream, a drive-in stuff!
.

Capital (or National) punishment

.
Hung Parliament? So what the heck,
Scamming MPs caught by the neck!
.

Come fly with me

.
An old man asked me before he died (I cried)
Put me on a plane to the other side.
.

Two degrees below

.
Election fever at 35 degrees.
Lukewarm Labs, cooler Cons, a Libdem freeze!
.

Poesy Honours

.
If I were a poet, I'd write a verse,
Pen to motion, laureate duff or worse!
.

Easter Sunday

.
Easter Sunday, churches full, papal bull;
Girlie bishops - Anglics heed Roman pull.
.

Coloured coupling

.
Will it be Brownish or Camaroon
When neither has a Cleg to stand on?
.

Coupled Couple

Weekend Friday, weekend Monday,
Coupled work days laying egg days.

Dam Aged Goods

.
When the bones are thin and the head is weak,
We're dam aged goods, well past our peak.
.

But there's still the thoughts and the eyes that flirt
And the dreams that are dry for the joints that hurt!
.

Fly the flag

.
It's now B All the way that we fly
No perks for the jerks and fly in your eye!
.

Boozy woozy Rosie

.
Cider with Rosie's a thing of the past,
Dutiful Darling's drained dry the glass!
.

Copper-coloured budget

.
This budget is the Darling buds of May,
Will he then Belize what the voters say?
.

Taking the Ps overseas!

.
Bucket ship junkets throughout all the seas,
Poorly-paid, overworked stresssed-out MPs!
.

Bobby socks it to us!

.
Bobbysmirk Diamond's won the Euro
£50 million quid for the gambling guru.
.

Anniversary Blues

.
Love is this moment, this time of my life,
This present woman, this ever wife.
.

Careless Coupling

.
Your thighs, my sighs, our lies laid out
Not mine, not yours and no way out.
`

Casino Coupling

.
Barclays gamblers are very bright
A wunch of bankers flying kites.
.

triple coupled bonus

.
Wednesday's child is full of crap
Wished she'd worked for Barclays Cap
.

The Odd Couple

.
Married thirty-five years or more
Pity it wasn't her next door.
.

Cloud coupled day

.
The grey of a Monday and nothing to see
A day full of nothing means nothing to me.
.

Uncoupled

.
I should have remembered the red letter day
No roses, no posey and you went away.
.

coupled time

.
This is the tail of a careless oaf
Dropped his trousers and lost his loaf.
.

Coupling

.
A footballer's wife cried out in vain
The letter's in French, oh what a pain.
.

Couplets

.
Confucius was con fused
And the light went out.
.

Couplet Time

.
The poetaster died
Nobody cried.
.